Heart to Heart with Hads

The Reset EVERY Woman Needs

• Hadlea Shaw

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We talk about feeling stuck in routine, why content overload dulls creativity, and how small guardrails like a phone “brick” create space to think. Faith, play, and seasonal limits show up as practical ways to reset motivation and protect focus.

• naming the rut and why monotony drains drive
• using a “brick” to block apps and stop reflex scrolling
• honoring low-creative days in the luteal phase
• coach’s four-part reset: journaling, free-will act, no scrolling, connect with God
• nature walks, step goals, and playful movement to spark novelty
• training in seasons and accepting limits without guilt
• shifting from comparison to gratitude and trust in timing


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SPEAKER_00:

Hello guys, welcome back to the pod. Oh my gosh. I did not record last week. Shout out me. No, I'm just kidding. But why is my microphone being so silly? Obviously, not quite prepared today. It happens, it happens. There we go. So I don't know about any of you guys, but I have been feeling a little bit more in a rut. Sorry, I can't hear my I can't hear very well in a rut than I usually am. And I don't know if it's the weather change. I don't know if it's just the season of life that I'm in where I feel like everything is very monotonous. And don't get me wrong, I think monotonous is monotony is great, right? We need to have so many things that we do in our day that are required of us. And it can become monotonous, right? You go to the same gym, you take the same route to the gym, you have the same routine, and then it starts to just feel like blah. And maybe you follow a certain person on Instagram, or you have a certain time of day where you scroll, and it's just like I am so tired of doing this same thing every day, not seeing any benefit from it. And that's kind of where I'm at right now. And I feel like I'm in this little bit of a creative block of like, okay, I'm producing, I'm putting out things, and I'm like, but I can't, which I don't like to use the word can't, but it's like I'm having trouble creating things that are coming from the heart. And I don't know if it's because I'm being influenced by people online, you know, whether that be other coaches, other people. There's just so much content and information overload that it almost becomes super exhausting. And so one thing that I've done recently actually is I got this thing and it's called a brick. And so you put it somewhere in your house where you don't go often. And so for me, I put it on the fridge. And like, Hatley, you don't go to the fridge that often? No. I mean, I do go to the fridge to eat my meals of the day. But so I put it there, and so like when I'm in my office and I want to like grab my phone for a quick dopamine hit after I finish something, because I often find that's something that I do is like, okay, I finished something, and then I need a reward for that. When in reality, I don't need a reward for that, I just need to keep going. And so it's like finishing a lot of tasks and just being like, okay, gotta get the next test done, and not having that little reward system. But anyways, I digress. The whole point of the thing is the brick essentially is you tap your phone on it and it immediately blocks all the apps on your phone. In order to get back into all of the apps that you want, you have to physically get up, put your phone on it, tap it, and then that's how you get back, are able to get back into it. And so you could be do it before bed, right? You wake up in the morning and say the first thing you want to do is scroll. Well, you can't because you breaked yourself at night. So it's like, okay, yeah, I actually have to get up and go start my day and get going and do things, and I'm not gonna be choosing social media for the for the first thing of my day. So actually, what I did yesterday, and I thought that this would help me kind of have a clear vision for my day, and I could just be, it could just be like a luteal phase thing right now, about to start my cycle. And creativity really does get low in that phase because our hormones are fluctuating during that time, and they're usually not at their highest. So that makes complete sense as to why I may be feeling this way. But yesterday I actually did a whole social media free day. I got on Instagram on my laptop, and it was solely to post my post and to send my DMs and to check my DMs to see if there was anything in there. Other than that, I did not get on Instagram, I knock it on Snapchat, I did knock it on Facebook, I did not get on TikTok, none of it. My phone was bricked the whole day. So this morning when I woke up, it was like 22 hours. You've been bricked for 22 hours, and I ended up just staying bricked for another hour so that I could just get as much done as I needed to this morning, which I really am a morning person kind of person. I love to get things done in the morning, and then the rest of the day I don't like to be doing as much, and I'll always try to find things to put on my schedule, and it's like, girl, you you did everything that you needed to do. Just chill out like everything's okay. I feel like I need lip gloss. I'm missing lip gloss right now. My lips feel really dry. I just went on a walk and it was blowing literally like 20 miles an hour. My hair was flowing everywhere, and so that's it probably looks a little raggedy right now because I didn't brush when I came back in. Anyways, I digress. That's that's beyond the point. But all this to say is if you feel like you're going through a route where you have no motivation, or you just want to take the easy way route out, or you're feeling unmotivated. I think I already said that, not creative. Everything is just feeling blah. You know, I actually texted or messaged my coach that today, my business coach, and I told her that I was just feeling like that with like everything in life. It just feels blah. And she was what she said back to me was she gave me four things. She was like, want you to journal like three pages straight, a whole brain dump. And I was like, oh my gosh, there would be a lot to brain dump. And that may help too, which I haven't done yet. My plan to do is after this, but I wanted to get on here and do my podcast. So after she's let me let me backtrack, she sent that journal, and then she told me to do something just because I have free will, and then she told me no social media scrolling for a week. So I can still get on there, I can post my posts that I need to, but no scrolling. So basically, going to be bricked the whole entire day, and this is gonna force me to sit with myself, sit with my thoughts, and really unpack and and get creative again, like really take a big social media break, and that may help me find my motivation for the the little things again. And then she also told me to connect with God, and I was like, that's fantastic, that's amazing. And so after she said that, I was like, you know what, I need to go on a walk, I need to completely just let everything go. I always feel so much better when I go on a nature walk. So like I I'm gonna go do this, plus I needed to get my my additional mile in for the day because I have a three-mile goal every day, and well, it's three-mile goal, and then obviously just getting in my 10,000 steps or eight to ten thousand steps. No, eight thousand steps is my goal, but I always end up going over that because like I'm just a pretty active person, anyways. I digress, and so I was going on my walk, and I was just like, I the connection I have with God is I just think in my head, right? And then immediately the first thing that comes up is like, okay, that was him talking to me, and that's just me like listening to that intuition. And so the first thing I said was like, God, what do I need to do right now to feel better? And he said, B you. Like, that's the first thought. He didn't physically say that, like, but the first thing that came into my head was be you, and I it got me thinking, I don't even know what B you as in myself means because I wear a hat of coach almost 24-7 that I feel like I am not having a life beyond that. And when I do, it's maybe you know, one day a week, or I'm taking a Saturday off, or whatever. And I feel like I'm always in this mode where my hat's on of just strictly coaching, strictly, you know, being an entrepreneur and being the marketing person and the accounting person, and like that's all I am, is just like the CEO hat basically. And be you, I'm sitting here trying to figure out what be you means to me. And I'm trying not to cry because like how could somebody not know who they are? I know who I am, but it's I'm struggling to figure out how to be me, how to authentically be me. And so I think it's just gonna come with the territory of sitting with myself and thinking and not thinking and not doing. Like I had a 45-minute where I just laid on the couch and I I wanted to take a nap, but I just couldn't fall asleep, I couldn't shut my brain off. I turned on a meditation and I just laid there and I was I haven't done that in so long. And I really encourage you to do that. If you're somebody that's like very high-achieving go, go goer, I would recommend doing that because once I got up from that, that's when I, or I texted my coach before that I got up from that. Then I had a call with one of my other coaches. I have three mentors, by the way. And she said, because I was telling her about training and how I felt annoyed with my training because you know, I used to be able to go four days a week and now I go three, and now I don't feel like I look like you go to the gym. And basically just getting my feelings out there. And she was like, There's gonna be seasons where you're just going to have to deal with things like suck it up, because that's just how it is, because you don't want to make your problems worse, right? I've been on a three-day training plan for almost a year now, and it sucks because I feel like I've not been able to put go full force in the gym because I've just keep having lingering, you know, gut issues, or I can't recover, or my shoulder, or like business things, and it's just it's frustrating, but I know it's a season and I'm doing what I can within the season. So then I talked to her, and then after that, that's when I went on the walk. That's when I had the little epiphany of be you. And then my coach also had said, she said, what's something that you can do that's just like out of the ordinary or not yours not you in a but in a positive way. And I was thinking to myself, I always go on this walking path in my neighborhood, and there's a park, there's like a neighborhood park. And I was like, what if I just went and swung on the swings? Swung on the swings. I don't know, whatever it is. And so I did that, and then I looked around and I was like, oh my gosh, the monkey bars, and so I did that, and I that is so much harder as an adult as a than it is as a kid if you haven't done it. Holy crap! And I was like, you know what, let's see how many pull-ups I can do. I did two, but I think I could have done five at least of just being a chimp. Um chimp. I meant to say wimp. Seriously, and anyway, all that being said, I think just doing something going back to the beginning of changing something in your day that's not monotonous kind of can get you out of that funk. But also, this is so cliche, but excuse me, whenever she said, like, talk to him and see, and I was just in my head, I was just telling God, I was like, I am genuinely so sorry for how ungrateful I am. Like, I feel like part of my problem is I am ungrateful for all that he's given me, all opportunity, all the growth, because I think I should be in a different spot. Actually, I'm right where I'm supposed to be, and maybe this moment right here is actually teaching me that I, or he is trying to teach me that I need to slow down, that I need to be more in tune with myself, that I don't actually need to be creating and doing all of the time, that I really just need to be fully surrendered to him and myself and not always doing and growing, and which I this is something that I've struggled with mentally for so, so long. Because I, which this is a bad thing, but everybody does it. I will compare where I am to where my mentors are, and I'm not where they are. And so I will get mad, I'll get frustrated, and I'm telling them, like, okay, what am I doing wrong? And like, you're not doing anything wrong. This is where you're supposed to be. You're doing you're doing it right, you'll just have to keep showing up and doing it consistently, and I think that goes for every single thing in life. And some people's timelines just look completely different, and getting hung on a timeline too is also the problem. Like, it's my goals and the things that I want to achieve are going to happen on his time. And as long as I am harvesting my what's the word? Harvest, as long as I'm harvesting the seeds, the fruits will come. And so this is something I've need to just continuously remind myself. Another thing too is starting my day, like waking up. And the first thing that I do is when I typically the first thing I think when I wake up is okay, what do I gotta get done right now? What's what can I do? Let's go, let's go, let's go, let's let's start getting it done. Instead of thinking, instead of waking up and thinking, God, thank you for another day, thank you for another beautiful day. My goal today is to thank you and live in your purpose, in your way. And you're like, Hadley, when did you turn so godly? And it's like I've always been this way, I've always been a Christian, but I've never I have never what's the word? I've never been serious about my relationship with God and taken it seriously, and that's something I'm genuinely working on. Every Sunday church service, I'm like, yeah, that's that's exactly what I needed to hear today. Like yesterday's church service, I needed to hear that. It was exactly what I was thinking about, and it it wasn't a coincidence um yesterday's what we were talking about, what our pastor was talking about, and he was talking about investing into God, investing into other people. And I do a lot of investing into other people, mentorships, whatever it may be, but I don't invest enough in God. I don't invest in tithing, I don't invest in, you know, my offerings or just even just helping other people, just being more generous with that. And so that's something that I really am striving to do and to work on. And that one hit me like a freight train because I was like feeling this kind of scarcity of like, I'm investing in my this coach, this coach, this coach. And I was like, what's like nothing's paying off for me, I feel like, which that's completely false. But it was just crazy how I had been having like some doubt feelings the literally the night before yesterday of that, and the church service was about investing and investing into God and investing into the church, and it was just a really good sermon for me, and I definitely needed that, but all that to say is I think strengthening my relationship with the higher power and also too just spending more time in solitude instead of you know, anytime I have a free downtime of downtime of okay, let me go scroll here, let me get inspiration from here. And it's like I don't need to be finding inspiration from anybody but myself. I can find inspiration from me. Everything I need is right in front of me. Everything I want is also right in front of me, and I can create from anything. And so another thing, too, that I'm gonna start getting into because I think this is another topic too that I we can get into a whole episode is so the people that are in their 20s who are in similar situations to like where they're not married, they don't have kids, and which it's fine if you're married, but like you don't have kids, the only thing you're striving for is growth in whatever endeavor you're doing. Maybe it be, you know, your business goals, your whatever it is, like your career, anything, and just wanting to have a steady foundation before you know you do have kids someday, which I don't plan on having kids anytime soon at all. But what I'm saying is I think that we get so caught up in these things and in our goals and in our dreams, and like even on social media, which I'm so tired of social media, like social media is amazing because that's where I get clientele from. That's how I share my messages, that's how I give value to the world. And it's hard to differentiate work from non-work. And I'm so tired of just the scrolling, and everyone's like, well, you can control what you think about other people and when you scroll and yada yada yada. But it's like when I my algorithm is mostly other coaches, and I cannot sit there and compare myself to other coaches or like bodybuilders or other things, because then it makes me feel like I'm not where I'm supposed to be, and social media is supposed to be uplifting, and it's it's all on me that I do compare, but at the same time, like if I could just get off there and you know, if I would just be focused on what I'm doing, I wouldn't even have the time or the need or the want or the desire to do that. So it is on me. I'm gonna take blame and responsibility for that and change my actions when it comes to that. And me having that break really, really helps. But another thing too is like I'm just looking at my bookshelf right now. I really want to get back into other books that are more like mindset type of books, which I I do read mindset books. I literally just finished Think and Grow Rich. I finished my other book, which is a fictional book, but just other books to kind of learn about me and who I am and like apply those principles principles, even though I don't think like self-help books really help. I just love seeing different perspectives on them, and so they can also help me, you know, have different viewpoints of the world too, and imagine things in a different way because whenever you're getting whenever you're getting perspectives, different perspectives from other people, you can start to cultivate your own. And I like that in book form rather than like social media form because social media form is a highlight reel, and a book is like people's real life experiences, which is that's what I love about it. Anyways, I digress. I know I'm just talking a bunch now, but I just wanted to share what was on my heart this week about things. So I guess that's what I want most of these episodes to come off as is more of just heart to heart and me just not sharing a bunch of value, but maybe things that I'm going through, things that I can work through, or maybe things that my clients are going through that I've kind of helped them work through, especially when it comes to like relationship with food and self and body image, those are things I really want to get into and kind of uncover. Those are things I want to start learning more about. So stay tuned for that. But in the meantime, I hope you guys enjoyed this episode. And thanks for bringing with me. When weeks, I don't have anything to say, and I'm gonna stop being as hard on myself when it comes to that because how fair is it to people that are listening to me that I come on and just try to talk because I want to put something out and it not be authentically me. So that's it. Hope you guys enjoyed this episode, and please review, share with a friend, whatever you need to do. But thank you all for tuning in for the small amount of people that do, and I'll see you in the next episode.

unknown:

Bye.