Heart to Heart with Hads

Ep. 40 | The Hard Truth: You Aren't Actually Doing Enough

• Hadlea Shaw

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We often think we're committed to our goals, but our actions tell a different story. Intentionality in every aspect of our lives—from fitness to mental wellbeing—is the key to creating meaningful change and healing.

• Not giving your full effort in workouts while claiming commitment to fitness
• Going through the motions without being present or intentional
• Learning to ride both the highs and lows without abandoning healthy habits
• Breaking free from tying your worth solely to work identity
• Bringing "play" back into life to support hormonal and mental health
• Creating boundaries (like not working past 7pm) for better work-life balance
• Demanding more from yourself by auditing your actions honestly
• Recognizing when rigid structures are causing more harm than good

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Speaker 1:

Hello everybody and welcome back to another episode of Heart to Heart with Hads. I hope everyone's doing well. I'm back on my YouTube, back on my camera video recording grind. For the longest time I took sort of a break and I don't know why I ever did that, because I don't know, maybe I just wasn't feeling it. I maybe just needed to tap back into kind of what it is.

Speaker 1:

I wanted to share the message I was trying to get across and recently I've been in the process of kind of rebranding, like health with ads Obviously I'm still health with ads on Instagram, but rebranding my, because it was just when I first started my business. It was just health with ads LLC, or health ads coaching, whatever. And I just feel like after a while like I don't really, it doesn't really represent what I'm trying to bring light into the world, what I'm trying to change, and so I rebranded to arrival wellness and the meaning behind that is kind of like secret, like you can kind of only know or learn about it if you're inside, unless you're my friend or like my close family, then you know what it means, or if you're my actual clients and you guys know what it means too. But I've been in the process of doing that and I kind of wanted my podcast to be more aligned with. You know what I'm trying to do within that and that in itself I just kind of want to talk about that.

Speaker 1:

That in itself was a little bit hard for me to kind of let go of Health With Hats, because Health With Hats has been kind of my Instagram identity for quite a while and I just felt like it was really hard to give that up, even though my name still going to say the same on Instagram, just like that was the very first thing that I, you know, I kind of like named my coaching just because I needed something. I was trying to get my LLC and I just needed something and that's all I had, and I never really gave myself enough time to, you know, have this vision or envision exactly what I wanted it to mean and represent, envision exactly what I wanted it to mean and represent. But essentially I just wanted to be like a whole body wellness. You know we're not just focusing on going to the gym and eating a certain thing, like we're focusing on everything from mind, body, spirit, and that's something that's really truly important to me, because for the longest time I was dealing with some like health struggles, like my hormones were right back and I was like I really just don't know what's going on, like personally, like I was taking away time from the gym, like there were so many things going on but deep down, like spiritually, something just wasn't connecting. And whenever you can really start to feel like in your body and know like hey, there's something going on and I need to fix some deep rooted issues because I'm reverting back to old patterns that aren't going to serve me in a way that I want them to, I can do a whole episode topic on that.

Speaker 1:

I just kind of wanted to give it like a deeper insight on where the direction of you know, had to evolution is going. But obviously, like I think I started this in May of last year and it's March now and I'm a totally, completely different person now. I've obviously matured. I'm a year older now but I just think mentally I have grown as a person and who I was then is a completely different person Now. I feel like I'm a lot more mature in the sense that I can see things from different views and not just my own viewpoint, and I'm okay with learning different avenues of what other people think or how they respond, and I feel like that's helped me with my coaching tremendously not just my coaching, my as well, because I'm able to focus on. Okay, we are completely different people and they have a completely different lifestyle than mine and I cannot compare them to mine and I cannot let my view of the world offset their view and what they're dealing with. And I think that's just been the biggest shift recently, and I think I just needed to give myself time to put my thoughts together on how I wanted to show up on the podcast. Obviously, it's heart to heart with pads, but there's a lot of things that I want to continue to keep talking about on here and more in depth on, you know, like spirituality things and mental well being. Obviously, health is important to me too. Mental well-being Obviously, health is important to me too. That's my job. But just diving deeper into some of those things, like business, like all of these things are really important to me, like I love the ins and outs of, you know, growing your brand. I love branding, I love marketing. Those are things I enjoy on top of just coaching. And then, as far as you, you know, I've been really into like doing.

Speaker 1:

Whenever people say like doing the inner work, that's just catching yourself in different types of scenarios where you react and really sitting with that and being like that was not okay. How can I improve if that situation were to arise again? So that's my take on doing kind of the quote unquote inner work and eliminating things that aren't necessarily aligning with who I am or who I want to become, and then focusing a lot on really spending time with myself, you know, no distractions, no phones. I will literally lie in the middle of the floor at a random point in the day and I'll turn on like a guided meditation or like a visual visualization and visualize myself what I visualize success to be like or what I want my life to look like in five, 10 years from now. And I the first thing that I thought of the last time I did one which was like a really deeper one was me. I was standing in front of a house with me, brock and two kids now I don't know when. This is what and it was a big, beautiful home. Like. I don't know what this looks like, but that visualization is there and I keep thinking about it like it keeps coming up in my mind. So I don't know. It's pretty cool and feel like everybody. We all have that instilling us, the power within us to make those things happen and do the guided meditation and lay on the ground with no phone, no, nothing, whatever the sun might be in the grass. These are all things that I'm looking forward to so much. Sorry, I'm looking at my phone to pull up my notes for what we're actually going to talk about today.

Speaker 1:

So the topic of today is you're not actually doing enough, and this can fall into many different facets of life, but most people think that they're committed and their actions say otherwise. So like, for instance, for like the podcast, I was like, oh my gosh, I'm so committed to this. And here I am, like not even allowing myself, not even giving my time. I would, I have time. The problem is not time. The problem is I just wasn't prioritizing it because I just felt like I was not getting anything out of it emotionally. I feel like I wasn't helping anybody and I wasn't putting anything into my production either. I wasn't getting my camera, I wasn't setting it out and I loved making the reels and the clips and all of that and that kind of just plays into like I'm not actually doing enough, like there's so many little things that I'm missing out on that are going to contribute to it and I'm just not actually doing enough of the right things that I know are just going to help keep propelling me forward. So that's for one instance.

Speaker 1:

Now, as far as say, going into, like, your fitness goals, you think you're committed, but your actions are saying otherwise. You know that goes back to what I was just talking about. If you're not actively showing up and you're not actively tracking your progress within your lifts or your physique or your nutrition, that's not you're not doing enough, you're just simply not. So when it comes to that, you know, looking at, okay, am I actually hitting my nutrition goals? Am I actually holding myself accountable? Is my accountability partner, whether that be a coach or a friend, are we actually holding ourselves accountable or are we just kind of going through the motions? You know there's there's a difference between doing something and doing something well and if you're just doing it to check off a box and to not, you know, get the full benefit out of it, whether that be, I don't even know what I was trying to say there, to be honest, but I was just thinking, like for myself. You know, there's like things that I want to get done in the day, and is it? And sometimes I have to think I'm like, am I just doing this because I want to check the box off, or is it intentional? Am I being present in what I'm doing so that can a hundred percent go into your fitness goals and your health goals, whatever, if there's not intentionality behind it, then why even do it? So this is a huge one.

Speaker 1:

When you're going into the gym, are you actually, you know, focused on what you're doing? Are you distracted? Do you have your phone up? Do you have scrolling through Instagram between sets, or are you just going through the motions? Are you not giving it your all? Are you just half-assing it just to say, like I said, check off a box? Being consistent, like I said, is not the same thing as being intentional. This goes for your, your workouts and your nutrition too. Like you just want to hit your macros, okay, I'm just going to eat crackers and cheese, because that's carbs and fat. Like, no, we're gonna. We're gonna do foods. We're gonna eat foods that are gonna fuel us in a way that makes sense. That's gonna make us feel good and not like a garbage can just because we want to hit the macros. You want to be fueling your body properly, being very intentional with what you're doing and going into more of like a holistic approach and going into more of like a holistic approach your metabolism and your gut and your hormones do not care about half-ass efforts. Whenever you're really focusing on being intentional and I think let's just go on a whole round with this you have to be so intentional with everything you're doing.

Speaker 1:

When it comes to healing, when it comes to healing your body, for the longest time I thought, okay, I pulled back on my training, I did whatever with my nutrition, but I'm still not managing and putting effort into what's going on up here. I'm still not putting myself out into an environment and building my community and having people that I talk to. I'm still secluded in this room. I'm still not getting up and I'm still not going on walks. I'm putting my business in my forefront, everything before my relationships and that human connectedness. And for the longest time, I thought that's what I needed to do. I needed to just go all in on that and not take a step back and be like, whoa, your health is really suffering from this and you've been following. You've been following along.

Speaker 1:

I've had some struggles with my not having consistent cycles for a long period of time and there's a there's a connection between your brain and your ovaries. If your brain's not signaling for you to ovulate or, you know, produce estrogen and progesterone, you're just simply not going to have a period. And so there had to have been, you know, something going on up here and I know, and I know deep down it was mentally I was just feeling terrible. I felt super alone and all I was doing was working and I wasn't doing anything fun, like I would not go out and do anything for myself, and it was just a downward spiral and I don't know what has clicked. But I've just been able to disconnect and not tie my worth to my job and I hope that whatever you take away from this podcast episode is that you are worth more than your job or whatever title you have.

Speaker 1:

For the longest time I just thought I'm Hadley, I'm a coach and I'm not allowed to be anyone other than her trainer. Coach Hadley, gym Hadley, health with pads, and so there kind of is like a conflict, not of interest, but conflict with, like, keeping my name health with pads, because I don't want that identity that I'm just healthy heads, whatever, when in reality that was like that's something that is can be draining on me. It's just identifying with just that, and that can go for anything if you're just a mom, not identifying with just mom. Like Like you are not mom, you are you who you are. Like I am Hadley and that's okay. Like I can be a human too. I can still go have fun, but I can still, you know, work as well, and I think that's just so neat.

Speaker 1:

The whole reason I did leave my job was because I wanted to have that work-life balance and it wasn't fulfilling me the way that coaching was fulfilling me. But then I found myself with my coaching, you know I would finish, you know, doing things, obviously helping my clients, and then I was like I have to be learning right now. If I'm not helping them, then I have to be learning. And the thing is is like I'm looking at you know what my clients are doing? They're not, they're not going to work and being mom, and then coming home and learning, trying to be more for their job all the time. They're probably not doing that at all, actually, and so I'm not sitting here trying to compare myself and put myself in other people's shoes, but it's important to know that I have to have, you have to have a balance of work and play and this is a new word in my vocabulary is just play, like I want to just play, and what I mean by play is go outside, go on a walk, like yesterday.

Speaker 1:

I started skipping. I was like this is so dumb, this is actually taking a lot of energy. But just like skipping around, like going out with my boyfriend when he wants to go golfing instead of staying home, and just like giving myself a break from this square footage of the house and getting outside and eating my lunch outside and just random little things, you know, having fun in the gym again and putting myself out there. I joined a freaking bible group with other women like and I have known none of these people and the age range is so sporadic, which is also too, like I said at the beginning, putting myself into a place of discomfort with not staying in my comfort of being always on the go, go, go and just being able to have fun and let go and be free, and I think that's something that helps me a lot with new with my nutrition too, is I I'm doing a little bit of intuitive eating because for so long I was, you know, just tracking macros, following this meal plan to a T and yada, yada, yada, what it's like.

Speaker 1:

I've been doing that for what? Five years now. I've never given myself a break from that. And I'm not saying that tracking your macros is bad. Obviously my clients do that. I literally give them meal plans and track macros.

Speaker 1:

But sometimes your mental well-being like needs a break from that. And for me myself, like my body or everybody in general, actually your body just knows stress as stress. It doesn't know where it's coming from and you can have it from mentally, you can have it from physical, and so for me I had to, I had to really sit with myself and say, okay, where am I struggling? You know mentally what's keeping me back from healing my hormones and feeling good. And this can go for anybody that's dealing with, you know, gut issues, your hormones, your metabolism. Like you have to be okay with doing something that's like uncomfortable to you and for some people you have to be uncomfortable. You have to get uncomfortable being in a calorie deficit and some people you have to get uncomfortable and not being in a calorie deficit and not tracking your macros and not going to the gym all the time. Everyone's on their own different journey, but you have to find the comfort and that discomfort feeling that you don't want to feel, and for me, I was so programmed and so accustomed to. Okay, I have to go to the gym at this time, I have to go at this scheduled time, which is fine for being structured, but not everybody can just be like that and then be able to switch on and off.

Speaker 1:

I was tying a lot of my worth to it's just if my clients are not getting the results, then everything's on me. I'm a bad coach, I'm bad and just tying my worth to the results of my clients and I feel like that was taking a big toll on me mentally too was like I can only do so much, I can only teach them so much, I can only coach them so much. At the end of the day, it comes down to them and I can't change everybody. That's something I had to sit with, too is I literally can't change anybody. You know, all I can change and evolve is myself.

Speaker 1:

Over time, I feel like I've really ranted when it comes to what exactly this is about, but it's really important to think about when you're really thinking about healing those types of things. You have to let go of those behaviors that are keeping you feeling like shit all the time. It's not fair to yourself to keep going back to those norms of, for example, for me, just staying inside, staying in this room, walking on the treadmill, just leaving to go to the bathroom and coming and sitting back down for three hours, and then I would go on really long walks. Instead of just taking little breaks throughout the day and just feeling good, like having different playful moments throughout the day. I would sit here and think about it too is like I will, you know, tell my clients these things and I'm like dude, why don't you take your own advice? Because I know what works, but it's actually doing that.

Speaker 1:

Getting into that mode of this really is not what I want to be doing, but I know it's going to benefit me in the long run and there's so many different aspects that that can apply to in life. That's just a little blurb on what I wanted to say about that, but going back to my notes on what else I wanted to discuss, but, yeah, your metabolism, like I said, your metabolism, your gut, new hormones, do not care about half effort routines. You have to be willing to change and tweak your routines to get the full effect, get the full effort and be able to put full effort and intensity and intention into it. So that was me too, I you know. What's crazy too is I even had a sticky note and I put I will, I will take time to rest from the gym and I will not work past 7 pm and all these little things I had to start implementing to just feel like a human being again and not like a robot.

Speaker 1:

And it's hard whenever you're so used to, so programmed. A lot of us are really programmed into the suffer, into the what's the word I'm looking for? We're programmed to the struggle, the struggle we. We crave the struggle honestly. And whenever we're not struggling, whenever we don't have something to struggle about, we're like oh my gosh, everything's going right, like this isn't right, yada, yada, and we find something else to nitpick and point out, when in reality it's just like sit with, you're going to struggle and be able to ride, ride the lows and ride the highs. One of my business coach, kelly, she said this and I was like holy shit, like my clients, my audience needs this too, if you're, if you're good like you're, so good when you're riding the high and whenever the low hits, everything crumbles, literally everything.

Speaker 1:

But we have to be able to learn how to ride both the highs and the lows so that we're not just crashing and burning and then going up and down and up and down, up and down. Just ride them out. They're going to happen. You're going to have to keep your routines in place. You're going to have to keep those habits in place. We know they're going to happen, anticipate them happening. But know that you're going to, you're gonna come out of it and we're gonna get back up again and we're gonna go down and that's just a part of life. But we can't let each, each little season of discomfort and up and down, and up and down, up and down keep you from doing the things that you know are going to take you to the next, that are just going to help keep you progressing as a person, in your business, in your health, in your fitness, whatever. You have to keep the same habits that you have up here that have you feeling good. You have to keep them down here or you're never going to feel good, you're never going to heal, you're never going to get over that constant stress, that fight or flight. And so last talking point I have is shifting your mindset towards discipline. How can you audit your actions right now and say, okay, this is what I'm doing, and how can you demand more from yourself?

Speaker 1:

I literally sat down today and I use chat GPT for a lot of things and I was like chat, chat, chat. No, I was like chat GPT. I didn't say chat GPT, I was like please tell me how I can improve my mindset, or no, I said how can I better myself in all of these different aspects and how can they make me a better person? So I I asked it that and I asked it to do it for my relationships, for my business, for bodybuilding, for this podcast and my spiritual life. All these things and it like gave me the hard truth and I was like holy shit, that's right. And so that told me today.

Speaker 1:

Like I kept telling myself, oh, I don't have time for my podcast this week, like there's so many other things that I want to do, and it's like no, I can fit in 30 minutes to do this and it can be good and it can be helpful and it can help other people. I don't do this for any sort of like money. I do it to help other people and also just it gives me good content whenever I want to post talking head reels, because it shows people my authenticity and who I am. And so I was like you know what I have been telling myself for the longest time? Now, you don't have time for that, you don't have time for that, and you do.

Speaker 1:

That's the thing is you, you, we all try and talk ourselves down and talk ourselves out of the things that make us, that make us feel good in the end, that make us feel accomplished. And whenever we continue to talk ourselves down, we're letting ourselves down. Your confidence plummets, your stress goes up and then you just feel like a piece of shit whenever, in reality, if you just gave yourself the chance, if you just did the things that you know you could do, you have the time, you have the energy, you have it all. You just have to stay disciplined within it enough for it to become second nature. So that's my last tidbit on that, um, but the main point is like you have to demand more from yourself. You have to want more for yourself and you have to do everything in your power to get it done and make yourself feel good and accomplished.

Speaker 1:

And so I'm really I don't tell myself, I'm proud of myself often, but I'm really proud of myself today for getting my speaker over here and setting up my camera and sitting down and really having a good discussion and wanting to make a full podcast episode and get back into the groove of things. Get back into the groove of I do time walking, but it's kind of all over the place and I'm not super rigid with it, because one of my goals is, you know, not be super rigid so that my mental well-being can just be a lot better. But at the same time, there is certain things that I need to schedule in to make sure that they are getting done and not getting put on the back burner. So that's all I have on this um. But point blank is you're probably. You're not probably. The hard truth is you're not actually doing enough. You could be doing more than you think you are and you're just selling yourself short whenever you know you have so much more in you.

Speaker 1:

So I hope you guys got some good takeaways from this. I apologize because I ranted a lot, but this is heart to heart, so it's literally just all my thoughts, everything I'm thinking, and just putting it all out there so that anybody else who is struggling or going through similar things can resonate. But also just like take that, take that little stab to the heart, maybe that you're feeling, or just a little jab that I gave, and use it to fuel you, use it to become better. I'm not saying you have to start something new and then you just have to keep doing and adding all these things to your plate. I'm just saying you need to do the things that you know are going to progress you forward, even if they're uncomfortable. So that's all I've got.

Speaker 1:

I hope you guys enjoyed this episode. As always, leave me a review comment, share it to your stories, whatever. That would mean the absolute world to me, just because I want more people to hear what I have to say and I like to yap. So I will see you guys in the next episode. Bye.