Heart to Heart with Hads
Welcome to Heart to Heart with Hads, the podcast where we dive deep into living a healthy, badass lifestyle that challenges the norm. Join me, Hads, as I share stories that have shaped my journey toward becoming the best version of myself, defying expectations and embracing big goals—including my pursuit of bodybuilding. As a young person navigating a world filled with stereotypes and expectations, I'm here to inspire others to break free from the typical 20-year-old narrative and forge their own path. Throughout this podcast journey, I'll bring on guests who have played pivotal roles in my life, sharing their wisdom, experiences, and perspectives. Get ready for candid conversations, valuable insights, and a whole lot of inspiration to live authentically and fearlessly. It's time to open our hearts, challenge the status quo, and embrace the journey of self-discovery together. Welcome to Heart to Heart with Hads, where we dare to be different, pursue our passions, and live life on our own terms.
Heart to Heart with Hads
Ep. 34 | Happy Birthday to Me - 23 Lessons I've Learned
This episode is a vibrant reflection on turning 23 and the valuable lessons learned along the way, spanning themes of authenticity, health, and personal growth. The discussion touches on resilience in the face of grief, the importance of surrounding oneself with supportive people, and the power of self-care and kindness in navigating life’s challenges.
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hello everybody and welcome back to another episode of hardtower with had. Today is my birthday, so I decided I was gonna wake up. Well, actually, I wanted to sleep in and I didn't. I slept pretty shittily actually, so woo, I don't know why, because I've slept good every other night this week, but it's whatever. Anyways, today is my.
Speaker 1:I'm dropping this literally on my birthday. I'm doing it in the morning, but I wrote last night in my journal. I was like going to podcast today, so, and even last night I came up with exactly what I wanted to talk about. So, drum roll, I'm not doing a video this week. I am getting a facial this morning and so I don't have makeup on, and I like when I look good in the video episodes and my hair is greasy and I'm getting a facial and my hair is just going to get more oily. So I was like this is just not a good fit. So I'm just going to do a recording and I'm just sitting at my desk.
Speaker 1:I just finished up my check-ins for this morning. I did my little positivity journal that I've been doing and I really love it because it prompts me every day for something new. And then I came upstairs, I did my cardio, got two sessions done for the week, so I'll just have tomorrow to do. And then I watched some of my continued education this morning, talking about supplements and how Walmart supplements not really. It didn't say Walmart supplements are worse than supplements that you get medically grade online, but I just know from experience with some of my clients like the Walmart grade is just not it. So do not buy your supplements from Walmart, but really know we're just talking about supplements, what supplements help with what sort of issues. And supplements are very much needed because food cannot heal everything. You cannot get enough nutrients just from food. So, with that being said, that's what I was learning about today and it pretty cool.
Speaker 1:Now I also have been reading 10 pages a day of my book Outlive. I really love that book. Um by Dr Peter Atiyah I think that's how you say it. I follow him on Instagram so I was like, oh, this book is a must-have, but I got it from my dear friend, abby, so thank you, abby, for that. I also got a workbook with it, so I'm kind of like taking notes at the same time, but that's been kind of what's going on with me this whole week.
Speaker 1:I have not trained actually. So that's been a little bit of so going to continue to not totally go crazy in the gym and I know I keep going back and forth with this and my problem is my ego is too big and I'm like, oh, I need to train hard, like I need to do this and that and the other, and my body is just like this. There's a time and place for that and it's not right now. It's not whenever I'm in my wellness-y era trying to heal myself. So I just need to give myself that grace Because I'm not prepping for anything. Obviously, you do have to train to build muscle, but at the same time, like if I'm not properly recovering, then I'm not going to be able to quote-unquote build that muscle that I'm wanting to. So I have to give myself some grace.
Speaker 1:I am going to pull up my notes for my 23 lessons I learned over the 23 years of my life. I figured that this would be fun to do. So, woo, here we go. I literally did these on the fly last night at 8pm. I was just like trying to sit there thinking of everything that came to my mind. So if I'm reading these off now and I'm like, wait, that sounds wrong. Sorry about that, but anyways, I'm just also admiring my nails. I got pink chrome and it matches my phone case and it's so cute. I'm obsessed.
Speaker 1:After I go through this, I guess I will talk about my plans for the rest of the day. So 23 lessons I've learned. First one Hold on, I have to reply back to a text because of plans that are going to be happening here in like two hours. Okay, first lesson and I'll kind of elaborate on each of them. Never be afraid to be yourself.
Speaker 1:So I think, personally, I've always been kind of a little bit of an oddball and I've always done whatever I wanted to do and I've never really just like followed the norm and I I just was like reflecting back on like my younger years and this is so funny but I told the whole fourth grade class that Santa wasn't real, tooth Fairy, easter Bunny, that none of it was real, and I was just always so literal, like I remember there was this math problem and it was like something about some farmer worked for two cents an hour and I literally wrote back on the like on the problem, and let me just tell you I was smart, like I was very, very smart. I was, like, always at the top of my class, hence why I was a valedictorian. No, I'm just kidding, but I know that I was smart, like, I know that I was very smart Intellectually, like book smart and just like mentally smart. Okay, what's that word? Emotionally smart, I don't really know. My EQ was good, I don't really know. Anyways, I remember the math problem was like anyways, I remember the math problem was like so somebody, whatever, worked for two cents an hour and it was like you know, like multiply, like how many days? Like how much did he make in a week or whatever. So you would just multiply it. Anyways, I put if whatever his name was worked for two cents an hour, then he's dumb, or something like that. And I'm just like really, why was it like that? Anyways, but I've never just been afraid to just like be myself and just be authentic, and I think that's a lesson that we can all learn. It's like stop trying to fit a mold of other people and just do what you love. Like I think it's really hard because there's social media and it's like oh well, I can need to get inspiration from others and there's influencers, and it's just like do what you like. Oh my gosh, sorry. Do what you like to do and just be your true self. Like, do not, do not try to fit a mold that somebody else has.
Speaker 1:Next one Time heals everything. This this one's hard, but I remember whenever my dad passed away and it was just like a very weird time. After that. I just couldn't like feel myself getting out of that and fast forward to now. It's been six years now and I find I don't feel healed.
Speaker 1:But I actually have like come to terms like this is how life is, and yesterday I got this is just not anything to do with it, but I'm just kind of like ranting. I feel like yesterday I I've just been so mad about the snow because my dad used to like Clean out our driveways and like brush off the cars and I was just like like why am I doing this right now, like I shouldn't be doing this? I told my mom she was like well, that's what happens when you get a significant other and I was like no, that's what happens when you have a dad. And I walked out and that was just like so not right of me to say, but I realized it in the moment and that's just how I was feeling. So I guess I'm not fully healed, but I do know that I don't think I'll ever be healed. But I do know that time does play a big part in it, in like the grieving process. So if you're someone that's struggling with something difficult, know that it takes time to heal and that's really all you can, really all you can do is have patience with it.
Speaker 1:So number three this kind of goes along with the like don't be afraid to be yourself. But number three is I get to choose my own path. I don't have to follow anybody else's. I think whenever I was, you know, I wanted to follow in my sister's footsteps after high school and go cheer at K-State. But deep down, was that really what I wanted? Maybe it was, but when I got there I realized this is definitely not for me and so I went down my own path.
Speaker 1:And same with like jobs, like everyone around me has a not everyone but like my mom, my sister, my boyfriend, like they all have careers where somebody you know tells them what to do, and it's a typical, you know, like eight to five job and mine is just not the same and that's okay. I'm not saying one's better than the other, but I'm saying you get to choose your path, you don't have to follow what your parents did, how their lifestyles were, etc. And I was just talking to talking, talking to Brock about it too. I was, like we don't have to do what our parents did, we don't have to follow in their footsteps of, like buying a house and like doing all these things. Like, we get to choose. There's no right or wrong way to live. All we know, though, is what we've seen from our parents, and so that's what we know, but it's like there's so many other options to explore and we don't have to just conform ourselves to a bubble, which kind of goes back to what I already said.
Speaker 1:Number four patience is the best thing you can have. This also kind of goes with. The time heals everything, but in a different aspect. So patience for me like I, you know, like I have my coaching business, and this is like something that I want to grow so that I can continue to spread my message of truly living a healthy lifestyle and preventing, you know, sickness later on down the road. That's really my why, what I'm passionate about, because, you know, I did see my dad get sick, and his was completely environmental factors. I did see my dad get sick and his was completely environmental factors, and so if I can show myself, prove to myself that by me taking control of my health and helping others take control of their own, they can prevent that from happening. But with that comes like for like.
Speaker 1:Right now, I'm learning so many new things, I'm in a I'm trying to get my functional health certification. So many new things. I'm in a, I'm trying to get my functional health certification, and so I am doing these. Like doing courses that I have to follow every week. I have to have a certain amount of learning done and I want to like just get in and like do so much, but like there's only so much I can retain at a time, and so it's like just taking things day by day. It sucks because it's the monotonous. That's truly like. The monotonous is where everything is made, and you may not see it right now, but you will see it later on down the road, and I think that's why I love process so much is that there's so much delayed gratification in it and I struggle with it. I'm not just like oh yeah, it takes time, it takes time. No, I get antsy. There's things that I feel like I want right now. But I know deep down that the longer like the process is what makes it, and if rushing things never makes things better, so okay, okay. So number five money is not everything, but money does have power, and this is something that I've learned recently, as my parents never really talked about money growing up, but I always knew that they were smart with their money, and so that's something that if I can be smarter with my money, I know that I'll be more powerful, I'll be more secure, that I'll be more powerful, I'll be more secure. So that one's a little bit of a shorter thing that I've learned, but I know I'll just continue to kind of evolve my thinking on that, but that's kind of where I'm at right now.
Speaker 1:Number six you are who you surround yourself with. This is so real. I say this a lot but at the same time, like I don't really surround myself with a ton of people, so I don't have a lot of friends, literally like none, maybe like two, but even then, like I'm not surrounded by them all the time. Exponentially, like has is so good in her everyday life with, just like how she connects people emotionally and her businesses, like. That's someone who I aspire to be like, and I think that's part of the reason why I've stayed home so long is because I truly look up to her and, like I said, you are who you surround yourself with, you're. I'm successful right now because my mom is successful and I know I will continue to get to her level, even surpass her, so long as I stay around her, so just surrounding yourself with people who are better than you, and I will always continue to say this. Even my coach, dan I will meet with him and it's just nice to have someone that you can talk to and they listen and then they, like, give you advice on how to be better and I love that and even just some of my friends, my business mentorship that I'm in everyone is just absolutely out there, freaking, crushing it, and it just inspires me to keep working harder and harder and become an even better leader.
Speaker 1:So number seven having a competitive mindset will take you far in life. This is huge. If you do not have a drive to win and totally excel, you're not going to go as far, and I don't mean this in a rude way, but you have to have that like competitive drive. You have to have that edge, and I don't know how else to explain it, other than I, I, people that are like lax and are okay with just like getting second or third. They're not as successful as those people that truly want to win. And they know that winning takes losing, and I've lost. I've lost so many times, I've failed so many times, but I've also won a lot too, and so I know both. But I know you can't have winning without losing. You can't have losing without winning. So next one Having a good reputation does matter.
Speaker 1:One Having a good reputation does matter. Being a good human and actually like having good morals and having a good reputation does matter. And had I not had a good reputation as I was younger, I don't know if my business would be where it is now. I don't know if I would have that trust built within people. They've seen me from a younger age to now totally crush it in so many different facets. So I think that does matter and we can agree to disagree Like. That's good. That's my next one.
Speaker 1:Number nine is I'd rather be controversial than have everyone like me, and so everything I'm saying right now could be very controversial. You could be like. That sounds so, so idiotic, hadley. But guess what, I don't care, you can either like it. You can either like it or not like it, or not like me, whatever. I have started to just be like guess what? Being more controversial is actually more fun and more cool than having the same beliefs and biases that everyone else has. So, um, yeah, I.
Speaker 1:A little example of this is I've been on threads just like randomly posting my thoughts and I had this thread and it was like Western medicine doesn't care about helping you. They only give you a bandaid for your symptoms and they don't look at the root cause of what's going on. People blew the fudge up. I mean, they were on my threads account. They were going ham on me like there was doctors on there. They're like never take advice from a 22 year old who just got her profile. And then some guy was like well, I feel bad for her now because she actually does have a lot of trauma from her father that had cancer and he passed away. So and I was just like you people come on like you guys consume way too much. Anyways, that was just an example.
Speaker 1:But oh my gosh, okay, number 10 without health, we have nothing. This is so true, so true. I could talk on and on about this, but if you are not, like, truly in your health and fitness and don't care about it, then you have nothing, because I mean, just think about it like, if you like, you want to be able to show up in your day-to-day and if you're having health struggles, you're gonna be able to, and that affects your job, your relationships, everything. So health is wealth. I will always say that number 11 sorry, I keep sniffling life is incredibly precious. Do not take moments with loved ones for granted.
Speaker 1:This goes back to, obviously, my dad's situation. I I have to a little bit of regret and resentment because I was like a teenager during that time. I'm not using that as an excuse, but hormonally and just like you know, like dad's telling you like you can't do this and you can't do that when you're in high school, just kind of sucks. And so he was sick, you know, throughout my freshman sophomore and then died at the beginning of my junior year of high school. So I think those first like two years I was probably a little bit standoffish because I didn't want him in my business or I didn't want him telling me what to do, or you know, he was very protective of me, didn't want me to stay out of the way, which is fine. And like, looking back now, I'm so glad I had the parenting that I had, because I don't think that I would be in the situation that I'm in now as far as, like being disciplined and just being level-headed. I don't know. I love that I was disciplined because it's carried over into my life now. I know I'm getting off topic, but basically what I'm trying to say is I feel like we were close when I was like in middle school, because he would take me to school every day and we would go get like donuts. Literally, we'd get donuts every day. So that's just a core memory for me. But I'm just thinking why would we have gotten donuts every day? Like that was all not the progress anyways, um, I hope you get what I'm saying. On that I don't want to elaborate because I don't want to cry. I want today to be the sunshine and butterflies for me, my birthday, anyways.
Speaker 1:Okay, number 12 presents over productivity. And my coach, dan, actually sent me this little like thing on Instagram and I was like this is so real. Instead of trying to like, get so much done. Like do multitasking so many things at once, like be present in each thing and so I will catch myself, like I'll be like on a call and like other people will be talking and I'll be in the background like working on something else whenever. No, like I should be fully present in that moment. Like pick one thing to be present and be fully present. And this goes for like going out to dinner and like things like that too, like you being on your phone and you also being at dinner. Like no, like be fully in dinner. I know that's different because it's not productivity, but instead of, like, like I said, trying to get so this is what I took away from it Instead of trying to get so many things done at once, just be present in each of those moments so that each thing can get done well and you can give it your full, undivided attention.
Speaker 1:Number 13, start winning from a young age and you will win the rest of your life. This kind of goes back to what I said on having a competitive mindset will take you far in life, but I think winning too, like if you start winning at early on in life and so this comes with playing sports maybe you win spelling bees shit, scholar bowl, whatever it's called, um math, I don't even know like it can be winning in anything, baking competitions, like whatever it is if you start winning from a young age and even just your parents telling you like you're the shit, like you read all these. But like I remember in elementary school, I was like the top're the shit, like you read all these. But like I remember in elementary school I was like the top of the AR points we had. Um, there was this like thing on the wall and it was like a bunch of roadrunners and it was always the same people that were in the top of like hitting their AR goals or like getting as many AR points, and so that was like something that I from a young age that I strived at, and so that was like something that I from a young age that I strived at, and even just like I don't know, just having that competitive drive in school. That's where it starts. You know like your teachers are like all right, who can, who can write their numbers to a thousand the fastest, so they would give us time. I remember in first grade they would give us time to do that every day and that's a really nostalgic core memory that I remember, that I'm kind of going down memory lane today, which is kind of fun. That's exactly why I wanted to do this today. Anyways, I'm having a fun time with this.
Speaker 1:Okay, 14. Great things take time. I feel like I'm repeating myself on some of these, but that's really true. You can't rush anything and expect it to be good. Everything needs to be carefully planned and thought out but also, at the same time, like success loves speed.
Speaker 1:So I mean, just like me starting at a young age, like taking college classes while I was in high school, literally my freshman year, the end of my freshman year going into my sophomore year. Like taking college classes while I was in high school, literally my freshman year, the end of my freshman year, going into my sophomore year I started taking college classes and I took one I can't say I did like multiple or no, I took two and then from there on out, like I started taking them every summer. And then my junior year I was like half college, half high school and my senior year I was literally technically always at the college and like never at high school and that was awesome. So things take time, but if you start sooner, you'll see more success. So even just me starting my business at a young age, I can no longer say that I'm 22 and I'm in my own business. I have to say 23. So I'm technically older.
Speaker 1:So it makes me feel like I'm not as accomplished, but it's fine, it's fine. It's fine, it's fine, it's fine. Eight is just a number. Okay, I am losing my track train of thought. Okay, uh, hard work will always outweigh anything else and I I think this is so true. Like, truthfully, working hard in any type of aspect is always going to going to show up. You just have to know exactly where to put the hard work into. Like, what does that entail? So, like, for me, it's just showing up every day. That's the hard work, showing the heck up, doing what I know I need to do to bolster my confidence, to help improve myself, get me to where I want to be in my life goals, my business goals, my relationship, all of it.
Speaker 1:Number 15, no, no, no. Number 16, love is everything. So you have to have love for what you do for other people and the biggest one for yourself. Because, if you're, I have started to recognize that that's what I need. I need love and everybody else needs it. So if I can give it to myself, I know that I can make it go everywhere else, which is really exciting. Go everywhere else, which is really exciting.
Speaker 1:17. Nobody cares about you as much as yourself. So you might as well be selfish. And what does that mean? Just taking care of you, like doing the things you want to do, what you love, just being who you are at your core. Because, truthfully, nobody and I mean nobody like, oh, my mom, my husband, no, literally you're the only one that cares about you the most. So be selfish, love yourself, do the things that make you feel good.
Speaker 1:Number 18 do not effing I put do not effing neglect your health, mentally and physically. I've seen this firsthand. This goes back to the my old, my dad's, situation. Like man, if he would have just taken better care of himself, known what alcohol would do to him later on, known what the shitty processed foods would do later on and I'm not resenting him for any of this, I just want to put that out there. But it does just make me sad knowing this stuff now, because maybe had he gotten sick when he was later and I was doing the job that I'm doing now, I would be able to help him and actually prevent it from getting worse or even reversing it, because I know that's something that you can do with cancer is because all cancer is is just inflammation over time to cells, and had he been able to reduce his overall inflammation and stress, he would have felt so much better. And if only I had known this when I was younger that I could have given it out, given that advice to him and literally I would, I would cook his meals. I would do that for him now, had I known. Which is like you can't change time but you can't go back in time, but it's still, you know, relevant to know that like or think that, what, if so?
Speaker 1:Number 19, trust your intuition. Even if other people get hurt in the process, you always have to do what's best for yourself. This one's hard, um, I don't think I really need to say it much more around that but always just go with your gut, whatever that looks like in any part of your life, even if it's going to be hard, even if it's going to take change, even if it's going to be discomforting, still do it, Still have to do it be discomforting, still do it Still have to do it. Okay, number 20. We're getting close. Be a woman slash man of your word Shows integrity and it builds confidence in yourself. So do what you say you're going to do. Not only is that going to build the confidence that you have within yourself, but it's going to show other people that you care and that you have integrity and that you do what you say you're going to do, and that just shows people that trust and that loyalty.
Speaker 1:Number 21 you don't need validation from anybody. I think this is one that a lot of people struggle with. From a young age, my mom was always like stop, you guys do not need validation from others, you have yourself. That's all you need. And so I think she would be like telling us you know, there's always people that were like focusing on, they always had boyfriends. My mom was like you guys don't need that. You don't need validation from guys, you don't need someone to tell you you're pretty, you know, you know it deep down that you are. And so that's always stuck with me and I've carried that on throughout my life. I've never needed like a guy, like I've never like someone that's always had a boyfriend, or like always needed someone to be like oh, you're so great, which is fine. If you do need that, that's totally fine. But, like I said, going back to the controversial thing, I'd rather be controversial than everyone agree with me and have the same opinions as me.
Speaker 1:Number 22 kindness goes a long way just being kind, because you never know what somebody else is going through and also witness this firsthand. There was just some like drama that happened whenever my dad was sick and it was just not it. It was not good for my mental well-being and I just in that moment I was like, does this person even know what I'm going through right now? Like why would they try to put this upon me? They don't even know what's going on. And so since then I realized like you never really truly know what somebody else is going through and so kindness always wins. It will always go a long way. Just be kind to literally everyone. It it. It takes more energy to be rude than just to just be nice.
Speaker 1:Last one, 23 excuses will never get you anywhere but a weak mindset. Having excuses makes you mentally weak. It's shit. Get that through your head. Stop making excuses. Do not make excuses. You make excuses. You build a weak mind make that shit happen, no matter what. Okay, guys, that's my 23 lessons there. There's probably a lot more, but this is just kind of like my brain dump that I had last night when I was thinking of what I wanted to share out today. So, yeah, I hope you guys enjoyed this episode and happy birthday to me. Share it if you liked it, and I'll see you guys in the next episode. I will be back on my podcast grind. I've just been getting some things done. I haven't actually sat down and had the time to write out my podcast content calendar, so we'll do that for the next 90 days and we'll see you guys next week. Bye.