Heart to Heart with Hads
Welcome to Heart to Heart with Hads, the podcast where we dive deep into living a healthy, badass lifestyle that challenges the norm. Join me, Hads, as I share stories that have shaped my journey toward becoming the best version of myself, defying expectations and embracing big goals—including my pursuit of bodybuilding. As a young person navigating a world filled with stereotypes and expectations, I'm here to inspire others to break free from the typical 20-year-old narrative and forge their own path. Throughout this podcast journey, I'll bring on guests who have played pivotal roles in my life, sharing their wisdom, experiences, and perspectives. Get ready for candid conversations, valuable insights, and a whole lot of inspiration to live authentically and fearlessly. It's time to open our hearts, challenge the status quo, and embrace the journey of self-discovery together. Welcome to Heart to Heart with Hads, where we dare to be different, pursue our passions, and live life on our own terms.
Heart to Heart with Hads
Ep. 33 | Kristi Shaw: The Woman Who Built Me
What if you could transform your challenges into stepping stones for success? Discover how my mom, Kristi Shaw, turned her humble beginnings at a movie store into a diverse career as a consultant and business owner. Her journey is a testament to the power of passion and perseverance, showcasing her dedication to helping others and creating a lasting impact in the community. From her early experiences at Mega Movies to management roles and her eventual rise as an entrepreneur, Kristi's story unfolds with a focus on finding fulfillment and the ongoing process of self-discovery.
Join us as we delve into the essence of mentorship and the growth mindset that has propelled Kristi's career. With a background in physical education and motivational psychology, she shares her insights on empowering others and fostering innovation. Listen to her experiences with entrepreneurship, from owning a cheer gym to running an event center, and learn about the significance of emotional intelligence in building strong, meaningful relationships. Through her narrative, we explore valuable life skills such as adaptability, resilience, and empathy, with a focus on the importance of understanding others' perspectives.
Explore the art of aligning your strengths with your work to achieve true fulfillment. Kristi shares her experiences of balancing challenging tasks with those that inspire, emphasizing the significance of authenticity in both personal and professional relationships. As she reflects on overcoming life's hurdles, you'll gain insights into staying engaged in meaningful activities, setting goals, and building genuine connections. Whether you're seeking inspiration or guidance on your career path, this episode offers a wealth of motivation and valuable lessons to support your journey.
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Hello everybody and welcome back to another episode of Heart Talk with Dads. We're not starting over Today. I have a very special guest. I've been talking about it, trying to get her on here for the past ever since I started the pod. So she's on Christmas break. We're actually recording this on Christmas Eve. This will come out 27th. So, yeah, let's have a little round of applause for my mom, christy. Hey, okay, okay, introduce yourself, mom.
Speaker 2:Hi, I am Christy Shaw. I am Hadley's mom and Halston's mom and Cubby and Steele and Wrigley and. Hosmer.
Speaker 1:You are Steele's grandma.
Speaker 2:I know, but I play the role sometimes as mom.
Speaker 1:You're Steele's grandma, and you're Hosmer's grandma and Wrigley's grandma.
Speaker 2:Well, at one point in time I was all their mothers. It wasn't a pawn pawn, it just wasn't a good situation at the time when we got them okay they know who I am every time they see me. They know I'm their mother no, they don't.
Speaker 1:Anyways, let's talk about your, your jobs and um. I know right now you're on break from Cali, but just talk about what you do, like what all you do the question should be what all do you not do?
Speaker 2:so I do work at Cali.
Speaker 2:I'm getting better at the water when you tell me I need to drink it. But yeah, that's why I got these on right now underneath my eyes because I'm dehydrated. But yeah, I have a lot of jobs that fulfill my soul. I would think my number one that I really enjoy doing is consulting people, with my consulting by Christy. And then I have the VIN Center, the K Shaw Venn Center, and then I own Advanced Show Crew, Competitive Trilogy and Gym.
Speaker 2:But all those things that I think have one thing in common that is just making a difference in the lives of people. Whether it be holding events and, you know, meeting people's needs in that realm and high levels of creativity and coming up with cool things that people are going to enjoy, whether it be a party or an event just in general for life, whether it be wedding, anything, it's still making a difference in the lives of people. In coaching, you know that I mean I've been doing that for a very, very long time. And then my consulting by Christy. Right now I'm currently consulting CAMPAC and their upper-level management team and identifying, you know, the great things about each individual so they can lead their team for better productivity in the workplace. So, yeah, those are pretty much my jobs in Ineska.
Speaker 1:Yeah, now let's talk about the jobs that you've had leading up to this, because you haven't always been, and I think that's something that is, I see that you're so successful and so I want to be that, but then I have to realize that I'm only 22 and you're 50.
Speaker 2:Do we have to really go there with my age?
Speaker 1:Well, you're 32 years older than you. I'll just say that, okay, good, thank you. And so, yeah, talk about where you were when you were my age career wise, okay and where I was mentally your age I was getting.
Speaker 2:I just graduated from Northwestern Oklahoma state. I graduated a year behind your dad, so he was already moved to dark city. So when I was in college I um worked at a movie store called mega movies very similar to blockbuster and I really really enjoyed everything about that job Um meeting the customers hey, how's it going? What can I help you with today All those things like I really really love. They also had, like a balloon, a little gift area in the back. So I love creating balloon bouquets and I did that. And then when dad and I got married a year and a half later we got married and moved to our city. Then I quit my job there at Mega Movies and I applied for a job at Marisa's in Ponca City, a management job. So where was the Mega Movies In?
Speaker 1:Alba.
Speaker 2:That was in Woodward, Oklahoma.
Speaker 1:So I lived with grandma. You drove there.
Speaker 2:My Grandma, grandma Grammy and my Grampy and I drove there every day and then I drove to Northwestern. That was my final year because I was at Oklahoma State the year before. So kind of you know my five-year hiatus jumping back and forth to every college because I wanted to run track. But back to the jobs. I think that that is really truly what grounded me to know what I really wanted to do. So my degree was in physical education, health and wellness, with the emphasis in motivational psychology, because what my really what I wanted to do? But it didn't work out. But I wanted to go into big industries and corporations and plan, do individual plans for their individual people in the workplace to help. Corporate fitness is really what I wanted to go into. But dad moved me to Arc City. So, yeah, had to do that where I needed. I got to figure out what it is I wanted to do with my life. So I knew that core business working with people one-on-one, coming in at mega movies I was in a manager role and putting all the displays together and clothing and just once again, making a difference in lives of people. Uh, even to this day, people are like christy do you remember when you first met me, I was in maurice's in punk and I'm like, yeah, I do put some outfits together for you. So it's always kind of been that, um, helping others and, you know, whatever it may be, wherever they're at in their life, making them feel better. And then my, my next role was, um. The man who offered me the job in Woodward saw potential in me as an, as a manager, and, um, he said, christy, hey, I got this perfect role for you. I'm putting a mega movies in arc city and the mega Movies in Arc City is where Lafayette is currently right now and really, yeah, yeah. So I opened that store, put everything in it, um, and managed it, did that for a couple years and I really enjoy doing that. I met a lot of my great friends in Arc City Maggie, dawn, darst, a lot of my good, a lot of my kid people that I'm close to, a lot of kids that now that have their own children now say, chrissy, do you remember when you got me that job at Megamy? I'm like, yeah, sure do. I coached some of their kids, so I did that. And then dad and I had Halston, and then I'm like you know what I really would like to do something different. So I I, dr Seitz came in one day and said Christy, which is a dentist, got a good offer for you. You've done great customer service with me. When I came in here, I think you'd do great in my office up at the Hill with Dr Seitz, I said I'll do anything you need me to do, but I'm not going to clean teeth or do any of that. It all has to be customer service based. I last.
Speaker 2:So I quit my job at Mega Movies and that lasted about one month.
Speaker 2:I thought I was going to be a stay home mom, do all the things and this and that.
Speaker 2:And, yeah, I got really depressed and your dad said babe, you cannot do this, you have to be around people. So, um, I put my application in several places, and college being one of them, and I don't know, we hired a nanny for your sister for a little bit. And, um, she came to the house and I at least, could go out and about and, you know, do things that I enjoyed for a little bit. And then I got a call from the college and it was I. I put in for a role as admissions rep and they did not for me that job. They offered me a job working with the Kansas Department of Education and working with the Carl Perkins grant, so it was writing grants and it was on gender equity. So the job entire entailed me going out into the school systems really promoting non-traditional jobs for females and males both, but mostly females in the, in the jobs for females and males, both, but mostly females, in the in the math and sciences.
Speaker 1:What?
Speaker 2:year? Was this 1997, that would have been 1997, yeah. So I went into the high schools. In the grade schools I did careers on wills it was called cows careers on wills. So I got to use my strengths in that capacity, working with kids on math and science, areas for females, non-traditional occupations. You know I wouldn't by any means a feminist women can do anything type which, you know, I feel that way a little bit, but not to the point where, you know, it kind of gets cloudy. So, yeah, I did that, and then I that lasted about five years, I think.
Speaker 2:And during that time, dr McAtee, the grant went away, you know cause it was funded through the department of education. Uh, dr Pat came to me and said Chrissy, hey, we have an opportunity, um, during that time when I was doing this job as well, to bring back the cheerleaders at Cali. Is that something you'd be interested in? I'm like, oh my God. Yeah, so I started that, uh, rebranded that, started the cheerleaders back at Cali and um, and then I did that work with the single displaced homemaker program. So, single moms wanting to go back to college, I helped with their daycare and that was a grant also. And then, um, during all these times I was just in and out of Cali doing different things and then director of student life planning events, fund events for the college kids and then still being the head cheerleading coach, I taught aerobics, worked in the wellness center, taught fitness classes and all the time really fulfilling my soul and things I felt like I was pretty good at. And then I decided you know what? Halston was six at this time, so you would have been in the picture coming along about right now. And Halston, you know really big into dance. So this is my 25th year having the cheer gym right now this year.
Speaker 2:And I told your dad I said I really want to be able to have my the cheer gym right now this year. And I told your dad I said I really want to be able to have my own cheer gym. So I started at the rec center doing all of that, starting little classes, rec classes, and then it just kind of grew and I wanted to be able to start my own competitive cheerleading gym, because at that time competitive cheerleading wasn't really big. High school cheerleading wasn't really big in the state of Kansas. It was where I came from, in Oklahoma but not Kansas. So I started it so that I could coach your sister and the sport of cheer. And then it just kind of blossomed and I wanted to do it for recruiting tool as well. So I could coach college athlete, I could coach kids that could go in and just be a recruitment tool for Cali. And so, yeah, I did that many years and had great kids come through my program, having been all-star cheerleaders, and to this day they're still coming to Cali.
Speaker 2:Just signed Tutti, you know, uh, Jos you, morgan, becca, I mean the list goes Kennedy, denson, aislinn, addison, so many kids that I've coached that I know that I'm missing some, so I probably shouldn't even brought that up, but that was my whole intent. And you know, Caleb, john Davenport, so many kids that have gone on to do what they love and are passionate about, um. So then, um, fast forward to now, fast forward to now. I got. I was, uh, decided I would. I guess it would have been about eight years ago.
Speaker 2:An opportunity arose with Dr Riddle the president at the time, you know, encouraged me to apply for the executive director of enrollment management and I was really excited about that.
Speaker 2:It was in reference to going out and recruiting students to come to Cali.
Speaker 2:That was a big.
Speaker 2:That was the big push us to get more students here. And him and I did several appearances actually not several, a lot of appearances at high schools and, you know, elementary schools and junior highs to go out and recruit students. And I think we're getting some of those kids right now that I went and visited with at the time. And then we got a new president that came in and said he I wasn't a good fit for him and so he put me back across the street in student services and I'm the executive director of student services and I love it. You know, at the time I was bitter and angry. We didn't understand why God was allowing me to work so hard in the vice president role, the executive director of enrollment management role, to go back to student services. But it really has gone full circle and next year 2026, I'll be retiring from Cali, it'll be 30 years. Then I could really focus on doing what fulfills, you know, my inside and that's party planning and doing all those things that I really, really love to fill my cup.
Speaker 1:Decorating, decorating.
Speaker 2:Decorating. I can't wait to just sit down one-on-one and plan a party with someone, like from start to finish, then say, chrissy, hey, this is what I want the party to look like, the celebration to look like Not just in that, I mean even in clothing. I want to be able to go out and, you know, really get to know someone and life coach them and that they feel really good about themselves and them say, hey, go shopping for me, whether it be clothing in their or in their house, um, just all those fun things that I really, really enjoy doing yeah, I like it, yeah.
Speaker 1:So what do you feel like was the biggest turning point from just like wanting to change your career path whenever you were younger, like whenever Halston was born, and you were kind of in that like limbo situation.
Speaker 2:Well, definitely I. I loved the customer service in the dental part, but I kind of got inside there with Dr Seitz doing teeth and that wasn't my thing. So I knew that isn't what I wanted. Even though I was really big into health that part of health I was not. There was always something inside my soul that that maximizer piece in me, like wanting to maximize people to their fullest potential, whatever it may be internally, externally, helping them. I think that's really what drove me to the career. All the careers I've really enjoyed was always the coaching aspect and helping people become better versions of themselves. I think that's always been innately and born within me to do I can't I can't just really describe it, yeah, but I think that's really it and as far as like going down the entrepreneurial path, because For one on that piece.
Speaker 2:I don't like someone bossing me around. I have always had to have that, you know because. But I feel like I got that piece of owning my own gym, owning my own, you know, my K-Shall services or whatever, because I always like to think outside the box. If everybody in the room says yes, I'm probably going to be the one that says no. I really don't feel like that's going to work, because my discernment is so strong and there's no collective data.
Speaker 2:Usually, behind discernment and that strength in which I carry as my working genius, I like seeing golly, there's got to be a better way. I know, if I tried this, that it will work, just like the Venn Center. I knew that, having moved it to Ponca City my cheer gym I knew that I could make something cool in that my cheer gym. I knew that I could make something cool in that event center that could, for one, serve the Hispanic population in our community, because I feel like there's not really a place for them to go have great parties, the bigger amount of space that it offers. So I knew that it would work. I just did. My discernment within me knew that it would work and it has.
Speaker 2:So always that discernment and knowing hmm, if I did this or that, I know that I think it can work. So that often in my role right now, my job is skipped over. It is because, as an administrator, the ideation piece of it is always going to be there, the wonderment of how we can do things better wherever we're working. But the discernment and the galvanizing galvanizing people to, you know, like rally the troops together and go make it happen that's often skipped over in the role that I'm playing now. It goes from ideation boom to implementation to, uh, implementation, and that activation piece of who your mom, who my core is, often gets skipped. And so, therefore, I find those ways to fill my cup by being my own boss, by my entrepreneurship, because I really truly can engage in my strengths in that part of the work process.
Speaker 1:Yeah so it's kind of a full circle moment that you like started in Ponca City working there or even Arc City, ponca City, and you're back.
Speaker 2:You have a cheer gym back in our Ponca City, so it's kind of yeah, and I think you know really taking the lens and you know I do teach a class now on Thursdays for recreational cheer, um, but I don't know 23 kids, I believe, around that area, um, and I've really enjoyed that because it's really the fundamentals, really getting the student, the athletes, the little athletes, to understand the sport of cheer. Because you know, you and I've had many conversations about this and your sister's well-being that she coaches cheer. But cheerleading is much more than just the sport of cheer. It's trusting people, it's making relationships and really, you know, starting from something little and making it big and going producing it on a stage. There's so many different life skills persevering and resilience. Somebody gets hurt or whatever. Then you have to. You know, at the split of a second, have to change something up. I mean, it's always on your toes. That's part of life.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Being adaptable yeah, being very adaptable and that's one thing I've tried to instill within you and your sister is that adaptability piece and the resilience piece, persevering. All of those things I feel like I've instilled both within you, your dad as well.
Speaker 1:um are life tricks hidden behind a sport yeah, that's a good answer yeah, yeah, I don't have a lot of questions because you can talk on anything, but I do want to say that you, ever since I was little, you always asked me like very thought provoking questions. I often get people like coming to me and my DMs and whatnot, being like how did you like foster this mindset that you have, mindset that you have? So I'm just gonna ask you, like how did you adopt?
Speaker 2:the mindset that you have towards everything in life. Well, I would have to say, you know, grandma did that with me, my mom did that with me. What are your thoughts on that? Um, I don't know, I think it's just kind of really how I'm turned, but just making you and your sister both think outside the box and really putting emotional intelligence I mean, dad brought a lot of the academic intelligence to you, but the emotional intelligence is really really strong within mom and I think that is huge in reference to dealing with people, you know, really truly identifying and being empathetic.
Speaker 2:And how did that make you feel? Or getting in somebody's shoes and taking your own off to see the lens to what somebody else is thinking and feeling, so that you know, in a relationship with them, if you choose to be in a relationship with them, if you choose to be in a relationship with them, even as a friend, like how to meet the needs of the other person. You know, because I don't really feel like you can do that until you can see through the lens of what they're going through, where they've been and they're going to offer to you the, you know, the information if you want, if they, if they so to share, to want to share with you that. But you have to let your guard down a little bit to meet the needs of others and to truly identify where they're coming from and to get to know them. You have to ask some of those questions.
Speaker 2:I remember sitting with you at the pizza hut. We were talking, we were talking about something and I you probably remember this I said, sis, we were talking about something and I you probably remember this I said, sis, sis, validation, do we, do you feel like you need to have somebody validate you? To, um, you've ever had us having that conversation. Yeah, and I used to say it. Yeah, and not any given point in time, boys not validating you. Oh, baby, you look great. You don't need that. You find that internal within you to say, my God, you know, I feel good about myself, I can do anything. I put my mind to not having any validation from others to say, man, you know other girls or whatever.
Speaker 2:that might be a little bit more, you know, trying to figure it out and everything, looking for that validation from others, seeking validation from others. I truly felt like I wanted to teach you and your sister that that was one of the first things when I had that conversation on identifying those hard questions with people. Give me some things that you feel like people try to validate. Yeah, so I. I guess the question that you're asking is that I was asking about mindset like how did you?
Speaker 2:like foster the mindset that you have of just like growth and always wanting to be the best at what you do, and all of that well, that internal drive, I think, is, you know, a little bit genetic, but the stride, the inside of me, of wanting to help others become the best versions of themselves, is to sit and really truly listen to someone and where they came from, because we as humans can learn so much from others. And planting the seed within us because so many different things in life, when the seed is planted, you can help so many people you know, and then you help them, and then they help others, and then the cycle is just like my God, hadley helped me do this. I'm going to help someone else from what Hadley helped me do and accomplish and achieve. I mean, I feel like it's the root is planted and then it just keeps going, and then the tree is like the branches, and then the leaves fall and then it's reseeded. And I mean, if we all did that, what a wonderful place we would live in.
Speaker 2:But it starts with us internally, sharing our knowledge with others and believing in people, we automatically are hard on our own selves and people. The world focuses on weakness. Why must we focus on weakness? We don't need to focus on weakness. We know what our vulnerabilities are. Why must we focus on that? Focus what you're really really good at and become, or even what you're good at and just polish it up till you become even better. You know we focus so much on our vulnerabilities when we shouldn't be. We know what they are. Focus on what you're good at.
Speaker 2:You know, when we go to work every day and we work out of our things that we're good at, you know, some things that we're really really good at are things that we really kind of don't even enjoy. We don't really enjoy, they don't bring us joy, but we do them because we have to do them right. But when we can work out of our working genius, what we're really really good at every day, then you go to work every day, not really working. You're going to work every day and fulfilling what you're good at and what you truly enjoy. Because eventually, what you come to work at and do every day that you're really good at, but you kind of you're going to get zapped out of that. You will have to fill your cup at one point or another because you're working out of your working competency. But when you work out of your working genius and like, for instance, what mine is is maximizing people to their full potential and leading and creating and all those things helping others do, those are all geniuses that I do every day. Those aren't. That's not working to me. What we're doing right now. This isn't working. This is fun, yeah, you know, but when I work every day and I had to do certain things within my role, in my job that I'm good at but I eventually I'm going to get topped out.
Speaker 2:But if I come to work every day, working out of my working frustration, things that I can't stand, putting in purchase orders, having to work with technology, um, doing things from start to finish today we got to get this done, boom, boom, without really truly going through that. All the processes I I wouldn't like my job every day if I had to do that. My job. Every single day of my life has been different. Everything every day is different. It's not monotonous and it's because I deal with people. Every day is different. It's not monotonous, and it's because I deal with people every day, and every day people are different.
Speaker 2:I meet different people every day. So as long as those things in my life have always been an ebb and flow of up and down and I drive differently, I don't know if you knew that I drive my path. Every day is different to work.
Speaker 1:Well, yeah, I don't think people know that you live here in Wichita and you drive an hour to work and then sometimes an hour and a half when you're going to Ponca.
Speaker 2:City. Actually it's almost, yeah, an hour and 45 minutes, but it really doesn't bother me, I don't think about it. It's time to think and kind of decompress and discern and think about. But I'm always thinking that you know, you and your sister, you'd always say, well, I'm on board, there's nothing to do. No, there's always something to do. Look around, go plant a tree, there's always something to be. Change your bedroom around, make it look different. I mean, there's always something to do. Yeah, yeah, you know, get busy living, get busy dying. I, I'm gonna get busy living because every second, every time, every day, I mean seconds.
Speaker 2:So right now, even on my break, I'm anxious in a way, because there's so many things I want to get done. I want to clean the garage out, I need to do the storage unit, I want to get things organized, all the things that I would like to do that cause me stress in my life every day. I want to be able to get them knocked out, because I know when they're all in order that I feel better. And but they're all. I have to eat the toad. You know what that means? Eating the toad, yeah, doing things you don't like to do. Eat the toad. Get the, eat the toads in the morning and get out of the way yeah, I think sometimes that you stress me out because you are like that squirrel, um, but being that, you know, that's how I am.
Speaker 2:Jenny, my best friend, you know, she knows how I am and she'll say, christy, we need to get this done, or can you think about this? I'm like, yeah, I'll think about it for five seconds. I'm not going to give you an answer until tomorrow yeah, because I really want to think, think things through on questions, the answers or whatever, before I come up with a plan, you know, and then I'll let you know. But I'm sorry that I stressed you out in that matter, I know it is, it's a bit much.
Speaker 2:I it is, it is it's okay but can I tell you how proud I am of you doing this. You know, I don't know if anybody I mean I think we've I might. I know that I've shared it when I've shared it when I've gone out and done motivational speaking but really talking about you as a person, your resiliency and your perseverance and having gone through you know, halston went through with dad being sick, different lens than what you did. You saw him go from, you know, 225 to 98 pounds. You literally visibly saw that. And or how the Halston did that is in a different way being having come home and visit dad when he was sick.
Speaker 2:But I'll never forget when you're at K straight you're kind of trying to figure it all. You know it was during COVID and you come into seeing mom and you get in the car and that's taking a little drive. You don't usually talk much, so I was, so I was. I said, sis, is everything all right? And you just kind of broke down and started crying and he's like mom, I don't know what my purpose is in life and I thought to myself what the hell out of like all the things that I've talked to you about and done and you everything I speak about in my everyday life, how you would know what your purpose is in life. And I told you do you remember what I told you? You don't remember what the conversation was and what I said to you.
Speaker 1:No, exactly.
Speaker 2:I said to you this. These were my words. Often, when we try to find what our purpose is in life, it's in reference to some of the hardest things we've gone through in life and you in yours was having to watch your dad go through that. You want to help others that are to. You want to help others by their nutrition plans, being the best versions of themselves and really having the knowledge and helping others in their diet and physical fitness and their overall, their overall wellness and being all those things that you saw dad go through. You took it and you ran with it. A couple of days later, you said, mom, I think I know what I want to do and you shared with me and you're doing exactly it is what you said you were going to do and accomplish everything and plus a lot more. So you put everything in your purpose in life and help Become the best versions of themselves, from start to finish. The journey is never ending with you, because this truly will go on forever. This isn't something that you're going to start today and finish tomorrow. This is an ongoing journey and chapter of you learning knowledge on trying to help every individual person that you truly coach, because you become one with that person. You're helping. You do. You feel their pain, you feel their vulnerabilities. You feel it all because when you're truly engulfed in helping others like you are because mom's the same way you really want to help them in every aspect of life, be the best versions of themselves. So I'm very proud of you for doing that and your vision is coming to fruition and I can be more happy as a parent.
Speaker 2:I know Dad will be happy as well, and the fitness piece of it and the weightlifting piece of it is all. I mean golly, he loved that piece of it. I remember all the time when I'd be like, oh my God, I need to work on my legs, I need to get toned up. He'd be like sis, but he'd say mom. He'd say, christy, watch the girls, this is all you got to do. Sit down, act like you're squatting, just hold it Remember he used to do that on or sit and do a lunge, do a lunge, lunge forward, lunge back. Girls, show your mom, do this, do that. You know more weight or less weight, more rep. I mean he'd say that, golly, on a weekly basis.
Speaker 2:Because he just didn't want us to get hurt, yeah, well. No, he didn't want your ass to be like this big. Well, it is, I know, because he'd do exactly what he said opposite. But yeah, that's pretty much.
Speaker 1:But yeah, that's pretty much.
Speaker 2:Yeah, okay, what advice would you have for someone who's maybe struggling with like because, like, what do you help people with at their like, their purpose? And well, you what? We would have the comp that we had had a hard conversation. Tell me, share with me some of your joys and your values. You know things that really truly make you tick.
Speaker 1:And then we talk about some people don't even know, I know yeah.
Speaker 2:So then when and then when, when I say, okay, tell me a little bit more about I always ask the answer but why? Why did you answer me like that, so really digging in and asking the why? Because when I can ask that why, I can really dig down deep and really identify what their why is in life.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:But why do you think that way? But why did you answer me like that? But why do you feel the way you feel like that? So those hard questions of that, why? Of really identifying what it is and what is the why behind they feel the way they feel.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think people avoid that because they don't like the feeling of discomfort.
Speaker 2:But you know when I talk about why and we talk about some of these hard conversations, you know some people don't even like what you said, know what their strengths are, but it can be the simplest strength, as in following a calendar, I like planning, I love going to the grocery store and checking off the checklist and the start to finish up getting my grocery shop or, you know, doing my meal preps. I love that because I started something and I finished it. You know the little things of even trying to help others come up with the why of what they like doing what they do.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And you know and even in some people it doesn't have to be, it has to be even dig deeper into that where they're in a total funk. You know, tell me something that brings you joy. You know, whether it be your animal, whether it be. You know pulling something out of the dryer when it's nice and warm and putting it on when you, when you get, just get out of the shower. I mean, I've literally have had those conversations with people on, because some of those are little tiny steps when something has been stripped from you, whether it be the loss of someone. You know a divorce. You know getting your own identity and your own self back. You know when dad passed away and I was at home with him for 90 days, never leaving the house. You know, for a marriage of 25 years, being with someone, you become one with that person. With someone, you become one with that person. So literally stripping back and having to try to find my own identity again of who.
Speaker 1:I am.
Speaker 2:Those are all those hard questions, you know.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Of who you are, you know, and being really genuine of who you are, because I think being genuine to who you are is only going to make you grow as a person to really have really solid relationships with people. If I'm not genuine with myself, my relationship with you is not going to be true, in a sense.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Authentic, very authentic, and when people really truly get to know me, I feel that is what I want them to feel comfortable enough at any given point in time. They can share with me anything, because they know I have their best interests at heart. Yeah, and I feel like that's what makes me tick. And if I can get that and earn that trust and earn that belonging within someone and when I'm coaching them, then we can build off of that and they can share their vulnerabilities with me. They can share their strengths with me and what they feel like they would do, even their desires of what they would like to do.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:That, that is, that it's sustainable, it can happen and and really try it. Well, what's holding you back? You know fear holds so many people back. The fear of failure, the fear of, you know, not being accepted, the fear of, like, not reaching yourself to the full potential. And there's so many fears in the world and I feel like fear is the number one. I think it's huge that holds people back.
Speaker 2:But I always say this if you want something bad enough, really truly want it bad enough, you have to eat the toads. The fear has got to be set aside. How bad do you want it? But you always have to start with the end in mind and keep that prize always right here. And you know I've always told you and your sister that you know, mom, being a hurdler, because I was a hurdler. You know ran track in college, always obstacles, always obstacles. You're always going to have to jump. And you know always the saying oh, life's a marathon, it's not a marathon to your mom.
Speaker 2:I'm not a marathon runner, I'm a sprinter, but I'm a sprinter who can jog a little bit and run fast and hard and jog a little bit. I'm going to meet the same way as the person running the marathon is. It just goes about a little bit different way. Marathon runner goes in his pace and kind of goes the same right when, as a person as such, as myself, I'm going to get that same end result as the marathon runner. I'm just going to do it a different way. I'm going to hurdle and I'm going to plow through it and I'm going to do it fast, and then I'm going to jog a little bit, I'm going to do it fast again, but my result is going to be the same as theirs. You just are going to go out undoing it a little bit differently, so the end result is going to be the same.
Speaker 2:So I say that because everybody's end result of how you got there is going to be different, but the end prize was always right here. So how are you going to get there? You're going to be in the trenches, you're going to be in the valleys, you're going to be high, you're going to be low, but I'm not dying on the hill. I'm not dying on the hill. And when I coach people, I'm going to know, I'm going to tell them and I'm going to let them know by my actions that I'm not going to let them die on that hill, man, I'm going to push them, but they're going to have to do it themselves too.
Speaker 1:But I'll be the biggest cheerleader in helping them, maximize them to their fullest potential. Mic drop that was good. I don't think I have any questions. It was mostly you talking, which is good, I know. But I wanted you to talk a lot, but it mostly you talking, which is good, I know, god. But I wanted you to talk a lot, but it's always in my brain, always in my brain.
Speaker 2:It's always perpetuating, like always, because we can always do things better. There's always a better way not to stay stagnant, and you know how I feel about this Never be complacent, yeah, but have the peace within yourself to not be complacent but being in your soul, feeling what's the word I always say not at peace. You can be complacent, but don't be complacent. But what's? The other piece of that starts with a c2 content, content, contentment. I am content, but I'm not complacent, and nor will I ever be. I'm content, I have peace, but I always want better. Yeah, it's a balance. That's all I really have that tapped me out. I need to go take it out.
Speaker 1:No, you don't. Okay, that was good.
Speaker 2:Well, if you need life coaching services, hit her up. Kshawservicescom.
Speaker 1:Yes, any of my services, or a cheer or anything. Should I do anything? Yeah, longevity For anybody.
Speaker 2:Okay, any final words? You have, just that I.
Speaker 1:I love you very much I'm so proud of you and I love your sister too. Okay, I love you too. Thanks for tuning in. Bye.